The Fecund One was on the Dr. Phil Show recently. There, she made the "stunning" admission that having octuplets in addition to her other six kiddies was probably a bad idea.
The admission itself proves that it is always easier to ask for forgiveness than for permission. The fact that she conceded the fact to the good doctor, and how she did it, shows off the complexity of whatever version of crazy she's got.
She will say whatever ("I need your sperm, because I have ovarian cancer"), to whomever (boyfriend/hapless sap she was working at the time, Ann Curry, Dr. Phil) to get what she wants (fulfillment of her pathological needs, sympathy, evade more pointed questions that will expose her for what she is, etc).
Like many with her.... "talents", she will no doubt land on her feet and come out smelling sweet in the end.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Lesson #1: "Xie xie" - "Thank you".
Eight years ago, people in the U.S. feared that their children or grandchildren may be Muslim and speak Arabic. Obvious xenophobia aside, the possibility of that is lot less substantiated than that of future American generations being fluent in Mandarin Chinese.
Between the fact that China has bought up a lot of our bloated debt and the projections that much of the world's wealth will shift eastward, this is highly likely.
You could look at it as a case of "slow and steady wins the race", or as testimony that strict and traditional and disciplined cultures persist and prevail through the ages.
Suddenly all those futuristic movies with images of overcrowded cities, bleak economic climates and signs in Asian-looking script do not look all that far off the mark.
Between the fact that China has bought up a lot of our bloated debt and the projections that much of the world's wealth will shift eastward, this is highly likely.
You could look at it as a case of "slow and steady wins the race", or as testimony that strict and traditional and disciplined cultures persist and prevail through the ages.
Suddenly all those futuristic movies with images of overcrowded cities, bleak economic climates and signs in Asian-looking script do not look all that far off the mark.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Vehicles of greed
Dreams.
Some people work unbelievable hours and make tremendous sacrifices to "make it". Others sleep their way to the top. For others, it's a matter of politics, leverage and backscratching. Roland Burris had said that it was his "dream" to be a U.S. Senator. Yes, he's worked hard to overcome racial obstacles. Yes, he likely was a good public servant. That does not sweeten the truth: he's a political whore. First he castigated Blago, then he accepted a Senate appointment with a shit-eating grin. When challenged about how he came to the appointment, he slalomed around pointed questions about his dealings with Radioactive Rod.
They say cream rises to the top. But so does scum. High school-level science tells us that like substances tend to cling together.
Schemes.
The mob rails and boils with anger. A few straw man effigies bear the brunt of the pitchfork and torch assault. If they were stupid and greedy enough to disregard the FACT that the returns the likes of Bernie Madoff were talking about were virtually impossible, it serves them right to have lost their money.
Wasn't Frankenstein's monster a metaphor for humanity's own flaws?
Some people work unbelievable hours and make tremendous sacrifices to "make it". Others sleep their way to the top. For others, it's a matter of politics, leverage and backscratching. Roland Burris had said that it was his "dream" to be a U.S. Senator. Yes, he's worked hard to overcome racial obstacles. Yes, he likely was a good public servant. That does not sweeten the truth: he's a political whore. First he castigated Blago, then he accepted a Senate appointment with a shit-eating grin. When challenged about how he came to the appointment, he slalomed around pointed questions about his dealings with Radioactive Rod.
They say cream rises to the top. But so does scum. High school-level science tells us that like substances tend to cling together.
Schemes.
The mob rails and boils with anger. A few straw man effigies bear the brunt of the pitchfork and torch assault. If they were stupid and greedy enough to disregard the FACT that the returns the likes of Bernie Madoff were talking about were virtually impossible, it serves them right to have lost their money.
Wasn't Frankenstein's monster a metaphor for humanity's own flaws?
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
"I know it when I see it"
CNN commentator Roland Martin was sounding vaguely familiar when he spoke out about a recent controversial New York Post cartoon on Anderson Cooper's show today.
Since people ARE split on the interpretation of this cartoon, it's a no-brainer that either the cartoonist's intended message is conveyed somewhat vaguely, or that most Americans are miserably ignorant about their country's legislative process or that political correctness has reached toxic levels and needs to be dialed back juuuuust a smidge.
I'm not sure which of those latter two is worse...
In other news: Will The Fecund One be eligible for the president's foreclosure bailout? I sure as hell hope not, but the web site started for her by The Killeen Furtney Group (not her first freebie by any means) is back up. Stay tuned buckaroos!
Since people ARE split on the interpretation of this cartoon, it's a no-brainer that either the cartoonist's intended message is conveyed somewhat vaguely, or that most Americans are miserably ignorant about their country's legislative process or that political correctness has reached toxic levels and needs to be dialed back juuuuust a smidge.
I'm not sure which of those latter two is worse...
In other news: Will The Fecund One be eligible for the president's foreclosure bailout? I sure as hell hope not, but the web site started for her by The Killeen Furtney Group (not her first freebie by any means) is back up. Stay tuned buckaroos!
Monday, February 16, 2009
However will she manage?
It seems that The Killeen Furtney Group - the publicist for the Octomom - closed the donation site they created (the death threats were really just an excuse).
But the Octomom brand is strong. See here.
How will The Fecund One be able to afford all those manicures and Restylane lip injections?
Bypass that unemployment line, sweetie. I hear Walmart is hiring.
But the Octomom brand is strong. See here.
How will The Fecund One be able to afford all those manicures and Restylane lip injections?
Bypass that unemployment line, sweetie. I hear Walmart is hiring.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
14 reasons to cheat on your taxes.
Aspiring Angelina Jolie impersonator, Nadya Suleman has launched a web site intended to milk your pity and child fetish for cash.
When she assured NBC viewers that she is not receiving any public assistance, she was not *technically* lying. But I have to side with grandma Suleman that it is unconscionable that this puff-lipped narcissist has burdened her parents and now wants to burden voluntary donors and involuntary taxpayers with the tab for her 14 bundles of joy.
This savvy manipulator knows how to milk the system. She has not worked for several years following some "job injury", is $50K in debt for school (did she major in Recreational Motherhood Studies?). Let's see if she ever gets to (or even wants to) finish her degree. She already gets food stamps, probably WIC benefits and assistance because her kids have ADHD and Autism.
Women are rarely blind so I can use this: Did she NOT see the red flags with the first 6 fatherless wonders? This whacko lacks the judgement and personal revenue to support her large brood.
"I knew the bitch crazy!"
When she assured NBC viewers that she is not receiving any public assistance, she was not *technically* lying. But I have to side with grandma Suleman that it is unconscionable that this puff-lipped narcissist has burdened her parents and now wants to burden voluntary donors and involuntary taxpayers with the tab for her 14 bundles of joy.
This savvy manipulator knows how to milk the system. She has not worked for several years following some "job injury", is $50K in debt for school (did she major in Recreational Motherhood Studies?). Let's see if she ever gets to (or even wants to) finish her degree. She already gets food stamps, probably WIC benefits and assistance because her kids have ADHD and Autism.
Women are rarely blind so I can use this: Did she NOT see the red flags with the first 6 fatherless wonders? This whacko lacks the judgement and personal revenue to support her large brood.
"I knew the bitch crazy!"
Monday, February 9, 2009
Monday, February 2, 2009
I'm gonna puke!
If I see one more:
-Cîroc commercial where Pif Puffy or Poop Poppie or whatever Sean Combs is calling himself these days pretends that grape Jolly Rancher - flavored pseudo-vodka makes him classy. Admittedly, he's an intelligent man and a good businessman, but Sinatra he's not.
-Vermont Teddy Bear Company commercial that attempts to convince us that even cubicle-occupying non-college graduates revert to squealing junior-high schoolers at the sight of a stuffed, faux fur, anthropomorphic ursine.
-"Green" energy PSAs that do not seem to explain a specific product or plan. A series of sweeping and vague feelgoodisms a solution do not make. Worse yet, I have no clue who or what are the generic-named organizations behind these spots.
-Cîroc commercial where Pif Puffy or Poop Poppie or whatever Sean Combs is calling himself these days pretends that grape Jolly Rancher - flavored pseudo-vodka makes him classy. Admittedly, he's an intelligent man and a good businessman, but Sinatra he's not.
-Vermont Teddy Bear Company commercial that attempts to convince us that even cubicle-occupying non-college graduates revert to squealing junior-high schoolers at the sight of a stuffed, faux fur, anthropomorphic ursine.
-"Green" energy PSAs that do not seem to explain a specific product or plan. A series of sweeping and vague feelgoodisms a solution do not make. Worse yet, I have no clue who or what are the generic-named organizations behind these spots.
hy⋅poc⋅ri⋅sy
Gimme a phucking break!
Proving that it IS easier to ask forgiveness than permission, another of Barack's cabinet picks turns out to have forgotten, overlooked and miscalculated his taxes. Oopsie!
The former Democratic Senate leader says now that he is embarrassed over the matter...
Key to the Democratic platform is the idea that everyone contributes to a joint pool from which all society sources funds for its needs. Greed, deception, tax evasion and fleecing the public were supposed to be the trademarks of Republicans. It looks like all this change is turning out to be all about who is in the front row at the trough. In Russia they had a saying: "It doesn't matter what the system in power is. It's always the same old whore".
Maybe we should get Daschle in as HHS sec'y and make him turn over all his revenue and assets to fund the overhaul of the health care system.
Proving that it IS easier to ask forgiveness than permission, another of Barack's cabinet picks turns out to have forgotten, overlooked and miscalculated his taxes. Oopsie!
The former Democratic Senate leader says now that he is embarrassed over the matter...
Key to the Democratic platform is the idea that everyone contributes to a joint pool from which all society sources funds for its needs. Greed, deception, tax evasion and fleecing the public were supposed to be the trademarks of Republicans. It looks like all this change is turning out to be all about who is in the front row at the trough. In Russia they had a saying: "It doesn't matter what the system in power is. It's always the same old whore".
Maybe we should get Daschle in as HHS sec'y and make him turn over all his revenue and assets to fund the overhaul of the health care system.
Hero Cult
The 23 year-old fastest aquatic human has been living it up and riding the gravy train of his Olympic success. But lest we forget that he is still essentially a kid, a British tabloid gave us a little reminder recently in the form of photos of his pre-Beijing pot smoking (at which he seems quite skilled). Four years ago, he got picked up on a DUI charge.
This is a kid bred and raised to meet superhuman physical expectations from an early age. His life revolves around training and competing. Combine that lack of social and emotional maturity with instant celebrity status and you have the ingredients for a cautionary tale.
But fire needs oxygen to keep it going.
It's our society that puts these ridiculous, one-dimensional expectations of people in the public eye.
We are sick with Hero Cult Syndrome, bestowing messianic expectation on our president and expecting a kid deprived of the opportunity to develop and mature socially and emotionally to act like superman.
This is a kid bred and raised to meet superhuman physical expectations from an early age. His life revolves around training and competing. Combine that lack of social and emotional maturity with instant celebrity status and you have the ingredients for a cautionary tale.
But fire needs oxygen to keep it going.
It's our society that puts these ridiculous, one-dimensional expectations of people in the public eye.
We are sick with Hero Cult Syndrome, bestowing messianic expectation on our president and expecting a kid deprived of the opportunity to develop and mature socially and emotionally to act like superman.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Only in 'murrica
Only our prudish attitudes on matters of natural body functions coupled with our spineless P.C., enabling and excusist social attitudes would spawn this idea.
Why should an American red meat eater walk on egg shells or react like a dog in a Skinner box to the swinging hormonal and emotional pendulum of the women in his immediate environment?
PMS may suck, but no man should be punished for a woman's symptoms. Instead, American women like to beat their men over the head with something the men did not cause or can control.
So what is the ultimate goal of this service? Putting men on notice when a woman's crazy flares up? For what purpose?
So the boss can't push a deadline and quality and production standards should be dialed back during those days? Should patients expect a different level of care? Should we tolerate lowered protection by law enforcement?
If we tolerate and accept these lowered standards of work 20% of the time, women should not receive any more than 80% of a man's pay.
If you want to be paid equally you need to act and work equally.
Why should an American red meat eater walk on egg shells or react like a dog in a Skinner box to the swinging hormonal and emotional pendulum of the women in his immediate environment?
PMS may suck, but no man should be punished for a woman's symptoms. Instead, American women like to beat their men over the head with something the men did not cause or can control.
So what is the ultimate goal of this service? Putting men on notice when a woman's crazy flares up? For what purpose?
So the boss can't push a deadline and quality and production standards should be dialed back during those days? Should patients expect a different level of care? Should we tolerate lowered protection by law enforcement?
If we tolerate and accept these lowered standards of work 20% of the time, women should not receive any more than 80% of a man's pay.
If you want to be paid equally you need to act and work equally.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Peety Peety Pintheth
At a loss for something new and intelligent on TV, I ended up watching VH1's Tool Academy.
Never mind that it rips off the Duochebag concept from DB1. The show is more painful to watch than Rock of Love 2. Yes, it's formulaic.
Whatever episode it was tonight, one of the contestants tonight went on a "romantic" "date" with his girlfriend. Carriage ride and all...
"I feel like a princess!" exclaimed the damsel
Bitch, grow up. And that goes for many twenty-something High School Diploma holders.
You are blue collar peons, not aristocracy. You will be nothing more than salt mine slaves and baby machines unless you go back to school - or beauty college - and make something of yourselves.
Git yo; se'f edumacated. Git yo' se'f a profession and a career. There's a nursing shortage in this country.
Like Barack said, it's time to leave behind childish things.
Never mind that it rips off the Duochebag concept from DB1. The show is more painful to watch than Rock of Love 2. Yes, it's formulaic.
Whatever episode it was tonight, one of the contestants tonight went on a "romantic" "date" with his girlfriend. Carriage ride and all...
"I feel like a princess!" exclaimed the damsel
Bitch, grow up. And that goes for many twenty-something High School Diploma holders.
You are blue collar peons, not aristocracy. You will be nothing more than salt mine slaves and baby machines unless you go back to school - or beauty college - and make something of yourselves.
Git yo; se'f edumacated. Git yo' se'f a profession and a career. There's a nursing shortage in this country.
Like Barack said, it's time to leave behind childish things.
Afterbirth of a nation
I have been expecting to see a surge in this genre of entertainment: whitesploitation. I don't mean the gay porn type. I mean "White Chicks" with real white chicks, stereotypes on steroids, a minstrel show in negative.
It could happen...
Two wrongs make us even.
It could happen...
Two wrongs make us even.
Groundbreaking
THIS JUST IN:
The desperate GOP, in a blatant attempt at pandering to the current social climate, just voted in Michael Steele as the RNC Chairman. How original and unforeseen...
I hear that gangs in Watts and Compton have convened an emergency summit to address their heretofore accepted color schemes.
The desperate GOP, in a blatant attempt at pandering to the current social climate, just voted in Michael Steele as the RNC Chairman. How original and unforeseen...
I hear that gangs in Watts and Compton have convened an emergency summit to address their heretofore accepted color schemes.
Soci'lism
Does anybody think we're not there yet?
With all the clamor for caps on Wall Street salaries and regulation of TARP funds utilization coming from the capitol and main street, the red is spreading from the stripes on the flag. Ultimately, we will have to nationalize banks and much of our industry.
Never mind that the current financial bailout is just circulating figurative money between a number of domestic debtors and not going to generate external sources of revenue for the country. Patching up potholes in our roads will help all those Korean, Chinese and yet-unheard-of car brands we will be buying in the future last a bit longer. That will be helpful when we need to drive up to Canada for an MRI or an appendectomy.
With all the clamor for caps on Wall Street salaries and regulation of TARP funds utilization coming from the capitol and main street, the red is spreading from the stripes on the flag. Ultimately, we will have to nationalize banks and much of our industry.
Never mind that the current financial bailout is just circulating figurative money between a number of domestic debtors and not going to generate external sources of revenue for the country. Patching up potholes in our roads will help all those Korean, Chinese and yet-unheard-of car brands we will be buying in the future last a bit longer. That will be helpful when we need to drive up to Canada for an MRI or an appendectomy.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
peta Pho'
Some people just need to spend a year in an impoverished, war-ravaged country to get a balanced sense of reality.
The veggie munching zealots who brought you "sea kittens" want you to not eat tasty animals. And they think suggestive video of a waify vixen rubbing on carrots and pumpkins to the sound of corporate metal will make me abandon In-n-Out? This video does not instruct the viewer on the proper auto-erotic use of cucumbers, but it does look like our girl is making a soup in a rather large vessel of bubbling water. Don't they know lean meat is not good for soups?
That girl needs to eat a cheeseburger, a plate of chicken patties and eggs and some milk-tenderized veal.
The veggie munching zealots who brought you "sea kittens" want you to not eat tasty animals. And they think suggestive video of a waify vixen rubbing on carrots and pumpkins to the sound of corporate metal will make me abandon In-n-Out? This video does not instruct the viewer on the proper auto-erotic use of cucumbers, but it does look like our girl is making a soup in a rather large vessel of bubbling water. Don't they know lean meat is not good for soups?
That girl needs to eat a cheeseburger, a plate of chicken patties and eggs and some milk-tenderized veal.
Tittie tizzy
It's a symptom of America's child fetish when moms post breastfeeding pics on their facebook profiles under the pretense of education. How altruistic.
Breastfeeding is good for the baby and getting riled up about it on obscenity grounds is ridiculous. Insisting on indiscretely exposing your mammaries wherever and whenever Jr. needs sustenance verges on exhibitionism. (Does that make the said pics kiddie porn?).
What kind of mom is it that can't remember to keep her diaper bag stocked with a simple towel, an airplane-type blanket or a Hooter Hider? FSM forbid others begin to think you see your babe as an accessory which replaced the stupid Chihuahua you used to tote around in your bag before you were bought with a big chunk of crystallized carbon.
In other news, Barack Obama had a gratifying, medium-hard BM this morning. All of the first 100 morning BMs will be bronzed and enshrined for posterity at the Smithsonian.
Breastfeeding is good for the baby and getting riled up about it on obscenity grounds is ridiculous. Insisting on indiscretely exposing your mammaries wherever and whenever Jr. needs sustenance verges on exhibitionism. (Does that make the said pics kiddie porn?).
What kind of mom is it that can't remember to keep her diaper bag stocked with a simple towel, an airplane-type blanket or a Hooter Hider? FSM forbid others begin to think you see your babe as an accessory which replaced the stupid Chihuahua you used to tote around in your bag before you were bought with a big chunk of crystallized carbon.
In other news, Barack Obama had a gratifying, medium-hard BM this morning. All of the first 100 morning BMs will be bronzed and enshrined for posterity at the Smithsonian.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Where they's smoke, they's fire...
irRev. Ted Haggard appears to NOT have been doing background research on homosexuality or playing Mother Teresa (but, then, I was not in motel room, so I don't know if he wore a costume). Looks like Pastor Ted likes 'em clean and nubile as well. Turns out he sampled the forbidden sinful pleasures of a "20-year-old volunteer at his megachurch". Varying sources contradict each other on whether said sampling was invited or consensual. That poor young soul was kept quiet with a sprinkling of green for college tuition, costs of counseling and costs of moving (...on to a New Life?). Do we need to ask if that came from the collection plate?
America's poet-politician, Rod "bla-bla-bla" Blagojevich is as much of a boy scout as his haircut would suggest. Apparently he would never, ever, ever use foul language.... if there was anyone (besides his wife) listening. Honest!
And he kisses his mother with that mouth?
I'm taking bets on how long it will take Larry King to get annoyed with Blago. Set your TiVos kids, Larry's "Bitch, please" face is priceless.
America's poet-politician, Rod "bla-bla-bla" Blagojevich is as much of a boy scout as his haircut would suggest. Apparently he would never, ever, ever use foul language.... if there was anyone (besides his wife) listening. Honest!
And he kisses his mother with that mouth?
I'm taking bets on how long it will take Larry King to get annoyed with Blago. Set your TiVos kids, Larry's "Bitch, please" face is priceless.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Today's WotDePhuck
Caroline Kennedy - Is she a postmenopausal woman with political aspirations or a virginal debutante breathless at her first sight of man meat? Does she want it or doesn't she? In neurotic virgin fashion, she decides she doesn't? I don't buy it.
Joe Biden - Is it ADD, early Alzheimer's or senioritis? The guy can't seem to find the gravitas befitting a veep. But judging by the long face today, Obama must have taken him to the woodshed yesterday. Not sure how long he'll keep rolling over for a sleeker looking, but smaller alpha-dog.
Barack Obama - A smidge hypocritical to make exceptions to one's newly trumpeted ethics code. Clarification: no lobbyists in the administration from now on (after William Lynn changes out of his Raytheon tie) and full transparency and disclosure from now on (after we get no-taxes Geithner through House approval). The rose is wilting.
Joe Biden - Is it ADD, early Alzheimer's or senioritis? The guy can't seem to find the gravitas befitting a veep. But judging by the long face today, Obama must have taken him to the woodshed yesterday. Not sure how long he'll keep rolling over for a sleeker looking, but smaller alpha-dog.
Barack Obama - A smidge hypocritical to make exceptions to one's newly trumpeted ethics code. Clarification: no lobbyists in the administration from now on (after William Lynn changes out of his Raytheon tie) and full transparency and disclosure from now on (after we get no-taxes Geithner through House approval). The rose is wilting.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Hack!
This is my emotional dumping ground. Welcome. Mind your step.
Here I will bitch, rant, whine, attack and slander at will. Deal with it.
Here I will bitch, rant, whine, attack and slander at will. Deal with it.
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